How to Discuss “Eggshell” Topics

One of the biggest challenges couples face is: how to talk about “eggshell” topics – those topics that you can’t discuss without fighting, or hurting feelings, or getting defensive – topics that one way or another, whenever you approach them, you both ending up feeling like crap about the relationship… Topics like: in-laws and relatives and friends you disagree on; past hurts, or future plans; personal hygiene, kids – and of course, money…you avoid these topics, yet they simmer unspoken beneath the surface; live-wire obstacles to real trust and intimacy and fulfillment. That’s why there shouldn’t
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Video: How Parents Fighting Affects Teens and Kids

If there is tension and fighting between you and your partner, this video will help you understand, in ways you may not have understood before, the effects on teens and kids. If you’re on the front home page of my blog, click on the title of this article. Or if you’re already on the single page for this article, here’s the link right here : How Parents Fighting Affects Teens and Kids

What Does A Healthy Relationship Look Like?

What does a healthy relationship look like? This is one of the most-asked questions on the internet – which means that millions of people don’t know if they are doing it “right.” Maybe you think you are “supposed to” hold hands all the time, and gaze into each other’s eyes, and make each other laugh, and have passionate sex every night – but instead: “We never even see each other, and when we do we just watch tv and read without talking to each other – that can’t be right!” Maybe your relationship feels right –
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Florida School Shooting – Reflections from a Healer and Therapist

Another mass shooting yesterday…another school assaulted….unbearable pain for the kids and families…agony in our hearts…we send prayers to Florida, and at the same time feel helpless that this is all we can do…. We all share the same wounded scream to the heavens: “WHY, GOD? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?” And also: How can we prevent these atrocities? Here are some reflections on those questions (because that is all I can do…): There is nothing more basic than the need for safety – food, shelter, family (of some kind), social bonds…a civilization where we connect and lead
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How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Don’t buy into the lie that you can never really know if you can totally trust your partner – you absolutely can create this state of complete trust between you. This article will help you build unshakeable, rock-solid trust in your relationship- the kind where you both know that you would never hurt or betray each other, or be selfish, or unkind. Come on: anything less than total emotional trust feels like crap – and your relationship is not supposed to feel like crap! (even though lots of couples live that way anyway. But that doesn’t
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Stop Fighting: Step One

This is always the first thing anyone must learn to break through their old habits of fighting and arguing in their relationship – or in any life conflict, really…

The Secret Reason Your Relationship Sucks During the Holidays! (and how to fix it)

Do you love or hate the holiday season? That might depend on what’s happening with your spouse or lover, right? If you’re married or with a partner but you still feel empty and unfulfilled, then the holidays are just a swamp of piled-on activities, plodding tasks, pressures, expectations, and overlapping dramas – and it all feels so….mandatory, and inconvenient, and intrusive. Is that you? If your holidays are a stressful slog, but you can’t put your finger on the problem – well, I just might know: Dopamine. It could be that you’re hooked on the stuff,
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Long-Term Couples: Sexual Healing and Improving (Sex Blog #1)

If you think you are dealing with sexual issues in your relationship, guess what: your issues are really much deeper than sex. However, they are showing up in your relationship in the form of sex. For the purposes of this blog, let’s define “sexual issues” as: one or both of you are uncomfortable or unhappy with the sex in your relationship – too much, too little, or the energy and emotions just don’t feel right. Solving these issues requires a new mindset: before reaching sexual solutions, you must first face the more basic issues that are
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Relationship Conflicts: When It’s Family vs. Partner at Holiday Gatherings

Do the holidays back you into a corner, forcing you to “choose sides” between your partner and one or more family members? Is there a constant tension beneath all the hugs and smiles: your partner vs. your family? Maybe it’s a general attitude, or perhaps the conflict is over a specific issue: differing opinions about a “bad” choice someone made – or perhaps an unforgiven incident from years ago, kept vigilantly, resentfully alive… Or – maybe it’s a new conflict, specially manufactured just for the holidays this year! Either way, somebody’s going to be mad at
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